I left school feeling overwhelmed with the day and upcoming week.
I have a test Thursday in Marketing and another test next Tuesday in Operations Management. As I thought through my week throughout the day I found very little “time” to set aside for studying. Now, I quote time because that time is time with nothing planned or when Jenna is working. I have been reluctant to give my time of things I want to do. I have time every night I can give to study but that would take away form things I want to do, like spend time with my wife.
Anyway, I was walking out of class through the dark of campus with Jenna on the phone but she was pretty much asleep giving me time to my thoughts. For some reason I chose to take a long path to my car through an unlit section of campus, I think this way my mind’s way of choosing a little bit a solace in craziness of the week. I actually walked down a more direct, more well lit path to my car and spontaneously turned around to take the other path. Regardless, I was spending time in my mind lifting the weights of the up coming week and beginning to feel a bit stress.
As I drove home, I hung up the phone so Jenna could go back to sleep (not to be a liar, I mostly did it so I could be alone for a bit) and rolled down the window and turned up some Thrice. The weather was perfect. The air was soft, slightly cool with very little humidity. As I drove I sang some Thrice, thinking how bad my singing was, and taking random moments to again contemplate my week.
An explicit thought flashed in my head, literally flashed and then I put it out of mind: “Christ, there is rest in you.” Now, that is a paraphrase, but that is the jist of what ran through my head. My favorite Thrice song, Come All You Weary, came on so I began to sing loud and think, once again, about how poor my singing was, especially with all the allergies recently.
For this next part to make sense you must understand the scope of the MP3 CD that is in my truck CD player right now. It is an album with only Thrice and Dustin Kensrue songs on it. I keep it on shuffle all the time. Ninety-two track with only one on there twice, I believe (because it was on two different albums I have); that track is Come All You Weary. When it came back on after the first time it went off I thought, “Huh, that’s strange. What are the chances?” And while I was doing the usual nerdy thing I do and mathematically calculate the chance I suddenly realized why that song came on.
It wasn’t about mathematics or probability or duplicate songs or song order. It was about my upcoming week. It was about stopping and listening to the first few lines of the song:
Come all you weary with your heavy loads Lay down your burdens, find rest for your souls My yoke is easy and my burden is kind I’ll take yours upon me and you can take mine
It was all about Christ. I had the flash of rest in Christ move through my mind, but I didn’t get it. I was too self absorbed and trying to cope on my own.
I believe he played those back to back for a reason. I didn’t get it the first time. I finally understood it the second. No matter what my week entails, he is there for me, to take my burden and guide me along.
Ever since that moment tonight, I have had an overwhelming peace. I realize that I will still have to put time in studying and making the necessary sacrifices for these tests and this week, but I now see the perspective without aberration. Ultimately, Christ is. That is all. It doesn’t matter if I get an A on my tests or flunk out of the MBA program. Christ is. I have discovered throughout life the God has always worked in every circumstance for me and will continue to do so.
Until I finally meet him I am compelled to continue to do my best, better myself, lead my family and love others. While doing all of this acknowledging that Christ is.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30 ESV)